Here we go again…

Happy New Year 2013Life has taken us on some difficult journeys these last couple of months and now that things have settled down there is some semblance of normalcy setting in. So, here I find myself back at it on the last day of the year. So much has happened this year, both good and bad, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. I could spend my time rehashing all the negative things that have happened these last couple months, but I would rather think of all the good that has been bestowed on my beautiful little family.

this year’s favorites (in no particular order):

  • picnics in the park with my little man
  • watching my oldest play guitar
  • Matisse dancing to the beat of her own drum
  • crisp mornings with a cup of joe sitting on the stoop
  • my husband and his ever disappearing/reappearing beard
  • afternoon yoga
  • bows and arrows
  • red wine and Toujours Provence
  • naps with my little man
  • building skyscrapers with my oldest
  • twirling and laughing in the afternoon sun
  • morning dips in the pool
  • playing fetch and belly rubs with my lab
  • summer vacations in the Adirondacks
  • birthday parties and cupcakes
  • writing letters to old friends
  • being thankful that I get to live another day… everyday

Wishing all of you so much joy, laughter and love in 2013!

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Goodbye October

As October is drawing to an end, I hope you have had a chance to enjoy some pre-Halloween festivities. We’re gearing up for Hurricane Sandy which is suppose to bring the most intensity today and Tuesday. We’re hoping not to lose power, since Wednesday is Mason’s 8th birthday! : ) However, being a “hope for the best best, plan for the worst” type of person, I’ve been stocking up on tons of water, food, extra candles and batteries and quickly eating all the chocolate in sight (mainly because I don’t want sugar-high kids with cabin fever). But before Sandy rears her ugly head, we were lucky enough to take the kids to a pre-Halloween festival so they could test out their costumes, play games, get lost in a hay maze and laugh… uncontrollably!

We hope you guys stay safe and enjoy the last few days of October wherever you are!

Today’s Favorites:

  • rain boots
  • Mav sleeping with his Captain America mask (too cute)
  • chocolate truffles
  • reading a book by the fireplace
  • warm apple cider
  • afternoon yoga

the kiss

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With one night left before our girls come home from their amazing two week vacation, my newly shaven hubs and I took our little man out for dinner. Garden burgers with pesto and grilled mushrooms for the grown ups and a corn dog with a side of broccoli for the little guy. I have a really great husband and he loves his children so much… watching him spend time with our son is always amazing.

I really have appreciated these last few days with my two favorite guys, but I have to say that I am overflowing with excitement to have my two little girls come home! I know this is just the beginning of their travels and that I will have to learn how to let them go and explore the world, but I’m just not ready for all this growing up.

silence

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I never realized how much I miss silence. I’m one of those people who loves alone time, but that rarely happens anymore. So, after the initial shock of my daughters leaving home for the first time wore off, I finally got into the groove of things. I have been spending a lot of time with Maverick, playing, going for walks, cuddling and exploring our town together. The flip side, is that I have had a lot of alone, uninterrupted me time, which has been so nice and fulfilling on multiple levels. Just the ability to eat a meal by myself, read a book from cover to cover or work at my desk without having to stop and take care of someone else… has been a true delight!

I have one more week left before my girls get home and long list of to-dos which I know I will finally accomplish. I’m looking forward to a wonderful week with my little man!

Today’s Favorites:

  • finished my book Toujours Provence
  • afternoon naps
  • lunch in the park
  • walking with Maverick
  • picking flowers
  • experimenting with bento box recipes
  • playing bows and arrows
  • building a fort and sleeping in it (my absolute favorite:)

it’s hard to say goodbye

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I woke up at 5:00am to bring my mom and my two girls to the airport. My little man had to come along for the ride since the hubs is out of town. I knew that I would be sad to see my little girls (two pieces of my heart) leave for 12 days, but what I wasn’t prepared for was their little brother’s reaction when he realized they were leaving without him. He sobbed in a way I had never experienced before. The kind of crying someone does when they have a broken heart. Do you know what I mean? He was inconsolable… tears running down his face, repeating their names and crying till his little body shook.

He cried all the way home and what was left of my heart started breaking for him, because no matter how much I held him and reassured him that they were coming back soon… he wouldn’t stop crying until he cried his little broken heart to sleep. As sad as he is, it brings a smile to my face to know that he loves his big sisters so much. There really is nothing better than the love between a little brother and his big sisters.

Let’s hope these 12 days go by really fast!

leaving the nest

My incredibly funny, cake baking extraordinaire, heavy accented, beautiful mother has decided to take my two daughters to Miami for 12 days. At first, I was really excited by the thought of 12 days alone (just me and the little man), but now that their flight is a little more than 12 hours away, I’m starting to have second thoughts. I know that they will have the time of their life with my mom. Eating fabulous food, swimming every day, the ocean, botanical gardens, museums, shopping and spending quality time with their “Moni,” but this will be the first time they have ever left home without me and even though I am in need of a break before the school year kicks back into gear… I don’t want them to go. I don’t want to miss a single moment, a giggle, a smile, a first anything.

I guess growing up is always harder for the parents. They even started packing all on their own (see above). I will miss my little angles, miss evening story time, our ritual morning cuddles and the gazillion other little moments we have together everyday and I think their little brother will miss them even more.

and that’s all i have to say…

After a very busy beginning of the week filled with projects, trips, dinner parties and a broken foot… my son decided to severely injure himself again and we were back in the ER within 48 hours of breaking his foot. The cast on his leg caused him to lose his balance and fall while playing/holding his Lincoln Logs, thus stabbing himself in the eye and severing his tear ducts. So tomorrow my little man has an emergency eye surgery. I guess things could always be worse.

Here’s to sending good vibes for our little guy to have a quick and easy recovery!

it’s ok mom

So, I lost my cool today and my children witnessed a side of me I thought they (or anyone for that matter) would never see. I proceeded to apologize profusely to my children and explained to them that I am, after all, only human and that I get tired, stressed and overwhelmed just like they do. And even though I’m “suppose” to be equipped with the mental/emotional tools that adults use to keep themselves in check, sometimes you just reach a point where enough is enough.

I felt awful… like I failed my children in some way. My anger wasn’t directed at them in any way, but they were there to witness it and that makes it just as bad. Just when I started to feel like my parenting skills really sucked my oldest daughter turned around and used one of my lines on me… “Mom, it’s ok to get upset, the trick is not to make a habit out of it” and she kissed me on the forehead.

It’s amazing how much my kids teach me about myself everyday. I am so thankful to have them in my life and I know that tomorrow will be a better day.

hold them a little closer tonight

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I woke up this morning to the tragic news that a gunman had opened fire in crowded movie theater, killing 12 and wounding more than 50. I feel such sadness for all those who were affected by this senseless attack, especially for those who have lost loved ones. I wondered weather or not to discuss this terrible tragedy with my older children and I felt that even though they are young, they have the capacity to comprehend tragedy and to feel compassion.

This tragedy made me realize that it is important to make my kids aware of the world in which we live in. My parents were children during the Holocaust and saw tragedy unfold in every direction and their experiences, their knowledge of the world around them, made them courageous, compassionate, hard-working and extremely loving. I try to live my life in the same way my parents did. I keep myself informed on important world issues and on current news events, because it’s important for my kids to be educated and to not be afraid of the harm a “few” choose to inflict in this world.

I decided to shield my kids from “regular” television last year, which means all they have access to is AppleTV, but I haven’t shielded them from life. In the sense that I believe allowing my kids to be informed about world events, including violence and injustice, is an important part of their ability to become empathetic citizens, but I believe that these are issues that they should hear from me rather than from television. This way they are not bombarded with images of violence, fear and pain, instead they are given the facts and allowed to ask questions, which turns into dialogue… something all parents need to have with their kids.

I wish I didn’t have to have these discussions with my kids.

I wish tragedies like this never occurred.

I will hold them a little closer tonight.